CUT MYSELF JUST TO BLEED

IT's been a while and still i feel the same

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 21:09:54 GMT

"I Miss You"

(I miss you, I miss you)
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you, I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
[x3]

(I miss you, I miss you) [x4]

FUCK LJ

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 21:56:10 GMT

ok now i think im seriously dont with lj . only myspace for me now . SO if u dont got one get one bitches and add me . www.myspace.com/zx2nr

Now Honey, you can't blame her ,for what her momma gave her....

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 20:37:05 GMT

well jun 23 is the date again. yet again i will be leaving for 13 weeks stationed in san deigo(sp?) at camp pedelton. best part is my gf actually decided to sign up and join me on this fun journey, she also will be departing on the 23rd but she will be only going for basic training. She will be stuck at sulfridge airbase in marine city. lol ha me in cali her stcuk here. oh well everything else is good. first car show this year in kentucky. lol yay hickville usa lol im gonna shoot me a gator lol. thats gonna be in may right b4 i leave but oh well .

SEMPER FI , ERIC

***i miss you more than anything in the world . i just wish we could start all over as friends***

HAHAHA

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 22:07:15 GMT

U know now that i realize it. You said what u think to make me look bad. it was not me it was ur who did it. who cauz it, who potrayed it. so it is not MY fault, it is yours. You made ur bed(rarely) and now U can lay in it .

Muwh KISSES

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 18:40:36 GMT

"You're Beautiful"

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 20:32:02 GMT

this morning in lab we pulled out the minks we were working on last semster to dissect the blood vessels and veins. pinky was preserved quite well considering he hasn't seen the light of day in about four months.
we named our dissection subject "pinky". they encourage that, for some reason. i guess when you give your subject a name, they seem a little more friendly. when we are good to pinky, pinky is good to us. he even lets us take his little paw and make it wave at everyone. and the other minks wave back.

i think i'm getting used to dissecting now. its not so bad really, once you've mutilated one mink, you can mutilate them all. cadavers are another issue.

that sounds really bad. and probably sounds really gross to whoevers reading this.

so i'm going to stop talking.

so sorry!

POOPY

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 21:41:01 GMT

at the moment, i am studying for anatomy practical exams.

around this time monday morining i will be putting on white surgical gloves and a lab coat. moving around from lab station to lab station, i will be analyzing and identifying structures, sutures, pleura lining, fat and fascia, ligaments and vessels of 30 partial dissections of cow eyes and pig hearts.

the more i study anatomy the more obvious it becomes that we are pretty much all the same inside. if little else, we all have hearts to feel and eyes to see.

WATCH YOUR BACK

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:43:18 GMT

Turn it up some
Alright boys, this is her favorite song
You know that right
So, if we play it good and loud
She might get up and dance again
Ooh, she put her beer down
Here she comes
Here she comes
Left left left right left
Whoo

Husslers shootin' eightball
Throwin' darts at the wall
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault
It's so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
(Aww son)

Now Honey, you can't blame her
For what her mama gave her
You ain't gotta hate her
For workin' that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we're hangin' out till three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)

We don't care bout the drinkin'
Barely listen to the band
Our hands, they start a shakin'
When she gets the urge to dance
Drivin' everybody crazy
You think you fell in love
Boys, you better keep your distance
You can look but you can't touch
That honkey tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

That honky tonk badonkadonk
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk

(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey
It's for the badonkadonk)

LOL MINES ALREADY HERE

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 23:33:16 GMT

BAD last couple of weeks. me and the gf are fine but one of my ex's that i dated in late august of 2002 (i think) Comitted suicide. I got the call from her dad. i guess when she moved back in with her mom in illoinois , she went threw some rough times and just let go. i swear im gonna miss the girl sooo much. She was the first girl i ever loved . i just wish she didnt end her life in the way she did. other than that im great . My cars almost done i got the side fender and all of the body kit on except the front clip, I ordered my new rims and they are sweet. Escort on 18's WATCH OUT. Other than that nothing new . Christmas was good. GOING TO Crew on new years eve, and then the best i got me and my gf tickets for the pistions on jan 3 sec 119 row ff(6th row) seats like 5 and 6 . Very sweet ass tickets. well thats about it except for one thing. KARMAS A BITCH AND I ALREADY GOT MINE NOW ITS UR TURN . lol randomness for those kids

"A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me""

I confess, I{'m just} messed up
dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around
And I know you dressed up
{said} "hey kid you'll never live this down"

And you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with
And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

Write me off, give up on me
Cause darling, what did you expect
I'm just off a lost cause
a long shot, don't even take this bet

You can make all the moves, you can aim all the spotlights
Get all the sighs and the moans just right

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

(always on, always on)
You said you'd keep me honest
(always on, always on)
But I won't call you on it
(always on, always on)

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

WHAT WHAT UPDATE!!!!

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 19:50:52 GMT

NOTHING REALLY NEW. FINALLY ADDED PICS OF ME AND MY GF ON MY PAGE. PICS OF MY SEXY CAR 2 . OTHER THAN THAT NOTHING NEW.

CHECK IT OUT : http://www.geocities.com/podaygo2003/

~SHE'S MY LITTLE WISKEY GIRL~

NUFF SAID

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 19:03:37 GMT

I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to, the truth
is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 18:08:00 GMT

See that big blue thing on the counter
You Don't want to read that thing man, it's a real getcha downer
But don't you dare say nothin else bad about her
She's gone

No,no,no,no don-don't throw it away
'Cause tonight i might need it
It gets real lonely around here at night sometimes, and i have to reread it
Besides you can show it to the boys downtown, and they won't believe that,
She's gone

[CHORUS]
There used to be a time I was all she ever wanted
All the man she'll ever need
I come home to find just like that she's up and vanished
And the only thing she left behind for me

Is this big blue note folded up in my pocket
Yeah don't laugh, it's been two months I still got it

Sometimes I have to read the sucker twice
Just to make sure I ain't forgot that
She's gone

You know my psychiatrist said, "Tell me what do you see
When you look at these inkspots of reds and yellows and green?"
You know, I looked at them all, but all they looked to me like
Big blue notes

[CHORUS]
There used to be a time I was all she ever wanted
All the man she'll ever need
I come home to find just like that she's up and vanished
And the only thing thats left to do for me

Is stand high on this cliff overlooking the sea
With my big blue note paper airplane i just set free
And I'm gonna wait here a few more minutes, and if it don't come back to me
You guessed it
She's gone

Crash landin
Bye, bye, baby

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ ya u gave me that note, ~
~ and now ur gone, ~
~ but i cant help remember, ~
~ all the things we done, ~
~ but that big blue note, ~
~ aint gonna get me down, ~
~ i look at it now, ~
~ and i smile instead of frown.... ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NEED I SAY MORE

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 19:31:26 GMT

"There Goes My Life"

All he could think about was I'm too young for this.
Got my whole life ahead.
Hell I'm just a kid myself.
How'm I gonna raise one.

All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke.
So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast.
Oh well, those plans are long gone.

[Chorus:]
And he said,
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
Might as well kiss it all good-bye.
There goes my life.......

A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later.
That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator.
Oh yeah..........he loves that little girl.

Momma's waiting to tuck her in,
As she fumbles up those stairs.
She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear.
Sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin' curls.

[Chorus:]
He smiles.....
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
I love you, daddy good-night.
There goes my life.

She had that Honda loaded down.
With Abercrombie clothes and 15 pairs of shoes and his American Express.
He checked the oil and slammed the hood, said you're good to go.
She hugged them both and headed off to the West Coast.

[Chorus:]
And he cried,
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
I love you.
Baby good-bye.

There goes my life.
There goes my life.
Baby good-bye.

"If love was a labor, then i'd be a slave for life"

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 17:33:04 GMT

lol random thing i learned so far this year.

:Work rocks when i dont have to be around my boss.
:Having a tv in your car has its atvantages.
:Cherish my beautiful girlfriend.
:lol Cali blows
:Cutting sucks when u go to the hospital.
:girls that were molested by other men will not make a good gf.
:sex on the beach it kinda like sex on sandpaper.
:Schools harder than i thought.
:" IN LOVE AND DEATH"

I finally have a good crew a friends where i can pretty much do anything for them and i know if i needed the same they would do it for me. there 's a few out there that should understand this.

AND TO YOU:::: LOL YOU ll GET YOURS SOON!!! BET THAT BITCH

PS: I WILL HATE YOU TILL YOU FUCKING DIE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME

LONG ASS SHIT

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 17:35:19 GMT

There once was a story i wanted to tell, but i assumed it was one you knew to well. maybe i was wrong. was wonder how clear we were gonna say it. how to keep us all interested enough to not drift off and start fantasizing about romantic things. but then again, what about those things in books, and in movies? are they real? does anybody care? you ride the bus dont you? aint nobody ever bumped into you before? wwas it a accident? lotta questions. you and him, what they are? can't be true love. but there are others. unrequited is a word too. it's in the dictionary. after truth i believe. everyday life some others i guess look at as romantic. but what about us people?are the elements impossible for us to experiance? do you know and welcome the idea of true love, staging,destiny,mis en scene, hope for eternal completion? everyone talking bout hurt and rage. and the airchair judge is the family bible in prime time today. what reality is fake? the drama is superficial and not admired, the judge and apology is shallow, love is put aside. i think there is one truth, with no subjectivity. and in the corner is a booth with some productivity. under my arm is a device with conductivity and i gave it to you. no lessons o.k? the city i live in aint no different. you sidewalk has less cracks in it? how spoiled we are right? funny, funny, funny. but you must have bought a book, but you must have bought a book, and it is a reality to hold in your thought, let's put it together though. we know not to kill after seeing a murder on the screen, but do we know not to love when we see two fulfilled? your morning can go on however you want it. no one owes you a breakfast for example. no one owes you a ride. and you know damn well we could walk there if you wanted to. and you know too that you could have what you need. to give is true and admirable too, but to be taken from is loss and totally false. imagine that you are being taken from. what faith is tested? what hope is wuthering? what angel was persecuted who worked so hard at something never to achieve it? prove it to me. and what child who was innocent was pushed to the ground never to get up again? where is that person now? wheres a starbuck when you need one? am i in destiny, am i in my kitchen? your the book dammit. you are the morning. dont deny yourself with this duty woman! dont damn yourself with a painted smile on a skull-man! put it on the table. and dont deny it. whatever it is. do yourself a favorand breathe real, get it? funny we are all still here. nobody left, and its odd because the more you denyit, the funnier it gets. 3 kids are playing on a playground, and one turns to the other and says, "are they making us go to school or are we learning for the sake of beauty?" the other kids love this idea, and they laugh and pass notes about it for days.so we all know the right thing to do,and we all can root for the underdog in the book, we CAN"T help it! kick yourself off the island. she is her. he is us. the underdog wins in the book, and in real life? not just in some sports game. you know, but-hey wouldnt it be nice if every sports tean was only allowed to have team members from its own city? no trading. evil can be funny. rightousness is a barrel of laughs too. come on, we all know! its a new century, no sarcasm kids. boy these kids can take! how bout take the tougnes out of the cheeks? no blasphemy. no talking under you breath. tell me waht you want, and we can do it together. im not kidding. they wrote the books to share with you what they assumed could be. they made the films to explore what you didnt get to do at work today. and they wrote the songs to fill the gaps between being some place, and getting there. but it by no mean, it cant be. your probalyy already there, just admit it. just say it. then you ll get it. stay the truth, and holw with this word behind tooth, to know what truth pushes truth foward, and to be taken is to be held, and to be stolen from is to lose what truth you deserve, pretending this is pretending to play with no audience but yourself, the options are sometimes not options at all, but distractions or temtations to live for something oe someone else instead of yourself, and the truth is still waiting alwais for you. i think were gonna be ok.

lol

Wed, 11 May 2005 14:42:45 GMT

Well i updated my hot or not pic. it me and my gf. lol were so drunk in this pic. Rate me and let me know what you did kiddos. http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=OEGRSQO&key=TYL

MY SUCIDE NOTE

Mon, 02 May 2005 17:49:00 GMT

HELENA

Long ago
Just like the hearse you die to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you know
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Came a time
When every star fall brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide?

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

~p.s pray for my gf's dad he had a severe heart attack saterday and is at providance in southfield~

Sometimes i just wanna die

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 18:57:37 GMT

i dont know what it is lately but im still depressed. i got my life straight, a great gf , my friends that care about me are all here for me, but i just dont understand. i mean i cant ask for anything more in life cauz i got all that i want right now. but i guess its the fact of knowing people out there are tryin to hurt me. i mean in the last year ive been dumped or been lied to by my ex's at least 3 times. ive had friends out there that said no matter what ill always be here for you. And when i need them the most their never around. thats why im glad i got u jersey baby. u make me feel so much better u dont hardly understand. its just sad that we've been hiding our realtionship for so long. i mean shit youve only met like 3 of my real friends and the others dont even know the truth yet. they'll know soon i guess. but anyways i feel the urge sometimes just to pack things up and take u outta this shitty state. i can wait till were finally married and start our own lives together. maybe then ill finally be at peace. its just great to have someone like you who appricates me more and more every day and shows it. (P.S) thanks for the subway u brought me the other day at work. love you. anyways i really still cant figure out why i bother with this site anymore. i guess i do it outta bordom. but anyways another great song here

~"There Goes My Life"

All he could think about was I'm too young for this.
Got my whole life ahead.
Hell I'm just a kid myself.
How'm I gonna raise one.

All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke.
So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast.
Oh well, those plans are long gone.

[Chorus:]
And he said,
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
Might as well kiss it all good-bye.
There goes my life.......

A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later.
That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator.
Oh yeah..........he loves that little girl.

Momma's waiting to tuck her in,
As she fumbles up those stairs.
She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear.
Sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin' curls.

[Chorus:]
He smiles.....
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
I love you, daddy good-night.
There goes my life.

She had that Honda loaded down.
With Abercrombie clothes and 15 pairs of shoes and his American Express.
He checked the oil and slammed the hood, said you're good to go.
She hugged them both and headed off to the West Coast.

[Chorus:]
And he cried,
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
I love you.
Baby good-bye.

There goes my life.
There goes my life.
Baby good-bye.

UpDate

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 16:54:07 GMT

Well ive been doin alot better lately . i finally realized how much i hate u. And that it doesnt even matter cauz i know im better than you and would never do that to anyone. Thats why im happy with my baby. almost a year and counting. August 15 to be exact. shes so wonderfull its amazing. i love her more than anything in the world. ITs gonna be great when we move in together. Ya so my neighbors are moving out of there house soon cauz their lease is up and i decided that me and my baby are gonna move in there its only gonna be like 1000 a month to rent so having a nice house for 5 a person isnt bad. Its better than living in a trailor or little shantie house i think. it sucks though cauz between the 2 of us we only got enough furnature to cover like half the house. IKEA here we come. (lol) It should be great though ill be close to home and close to work. so its not like im gonna have to drive far anyways. oh plus im might be selling my car for like 8000$ and usuing that money as a down payment on a 2001 trans am ws6. It would be so sweet to have that car. Sad thing is i think it might be a little out of my price range cauz after the down payment ill still owe like 12grand on it. but i think i can afford it. Also the great newe group of friends i have are great. Still sober and clean i am. 8 months and counting. i feel soo much better after all now. Cauz i mean at one point i was going nuts with Certain other drugs . i though it was the escape from the pain. i though cutting was the escape too. but i realized it only hurt me even more. more than most could understand.

~its good to be happy again~

ANOTHER RANDOM SONG FOR YOU

I was twenty and she was eighteen,
We were just as wild as we were green, in the ways of the world
She picked me up in that red rag top,
We were free of the folks and hiding from the cops,
On a summer night runnin’ all the red lights
We parked way out in a clearin’in a grove and the night
Was hot as a coal burnin’ stove,
We were cookin’ the gas we were had to last

In the back of that red rag top
She said please don’t stop

Well the very first time her mother met me,
Her green eyed girl was a mother to be for 2 weeks
I was out of a job and she was in school,
Life was fast and the world was cruel
We were young and wild, we decided not to have a child
So we did what we did and we tried to forget
And we swore up and down there would be no regrets
In the morning light,
But on the way home that night

On the back of that red rag top
She said please don’t stop..
Lovin’ me

We took one more trip around the sun,
It was all make believe in the end,
No I can’t say where she is today,
I can’t remember who I was, back then
Well you do what you do and you pay for your sins,
And there’s no such thing as what might’ve
Been, that’s a waste of time; drive you outta your mind
I was stopped at a red light just yesterday beside a young girl
In a cabriolet and her eyes
Were green
I was in an old scene

I was back in that red rag top
On the day she stopped
Loving me
I was back in that red rag top
On the day she stopped
Loving me

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 16:30:43 GMT

"Spend Some Time"

[Eminem]
If there's any bitches in this room, then there's something I gotta say
For all the fools who fell for the first girl who comes their way
I've been down that road and now I'm back, sittin' on square one
Tryna pick myself up where I started from

[Obie Trice]
I never woulda thought that I'd see you outta control
Even though my penis was deep down in your hole
You should know between us we was like mates to soul
Nothing could intervene us, especially no hoes
You was more or so the chalant type, I chose
To more shows, haunted you nights I suppose
That's how it go, with time spent, emotion grows
In the beginning, friends we decided to roll
So who's responsible when you get excited, explode
And Obie's grinning, then you invite that Obie's cold
But bitches the gon' talk, niggas they gon' hate
We established this way before we became mates
So whats required is that you chill with all that fire
Get your desire when I retire

[Chorus]
Spend some time with me, say that you'll be mine
I never thought I'd find someone to be mine
Lord knows I was right cuz you just crossed the line
Spend some time with me, say that you'll be mine

[Eminem]
I used to say I never met a girl like you before
Still ain't got a fuckin' clue as to who you truly are
Almost went as far as introducing you to my daughters
Till you went as far as goin' and snoopin' through my drawers
Now I just feel stupid for the loop that you threw me for
Can't believe I almost flew the coop for some stupid whore
You used to say all you wanted was for me to be yours
All I ever wanted from you was a few booty calls
If you recall I used to treat you as a groupie broad
When we fucked I refused to even take my jewelry off
But it threw me off the first time I called and you blew me off
It was a shock, it struck me as odd but it turned me on
You started getting moody on me, pretty soon we'd argue
And the ruder you got, the more beautiful you got to me
And who woulda even knew that who woulda even thought possibly
Cupid could shoot another one of them God damn darts at me
It's true that I got shot in the heart
But when someone seems too good to be true, they usually are
But see, when you're in it it's too hard to see
Till you pull up and see some other dude's car parked and reach
Up under the seat as your heart starts to beat
Before you make a decision that's life altering
And just as you halt and you turn and you start to leave
You hear them words echoing, almost haunting, that taunting ring

[Chorus]

[Stat Quo]
In most cases, Stat's attitude is fuck-a-bitch
My only motive is to get head and fuck a bitch
But you was different, thought we shared a covenant
Even held your hand in public, we sufferin' because of this
Shorty on some whole 'notha other shit
Tryna play sick thinkin' i'mma trick off rick
I'll admit, I was caught in the mix, down to commit
Feed you the best of me, I shoulda fed you piss
We started off closer than close
But who coulda predicted to know, your triflin' ways woulda stopped our growth
And the final result, back in that same boat
I ask myself, do I love these hoes? NO!

[50 cent]
Em introduced us, "50 this is Tanya, Tanya this is 50"
Then slid off and left her to kick it with me
I complimented her, I said you have very nice lips
With my imagination, I could see her suckin' my dick
We played the phone game, a week later, shit changed fast
Had her comin' over in a cab to give me some ass
Downtown Manhattan on the balcony, stare at the skyline
Penthouse full of imported shit, you know how I grind
She got to talkin', talkin' like an opportunist too
Why talk when suckin' my dick is the real career move?
Said she's an inspiring actress, she do videos for practice
Yeah, yeah, know how many times I done heard that shit?

[Chorus]

MY FAV M@M SONG FROM THE NEW CD

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 18:39:52 GMT

"I Love You More"

[Intro]
You still love me?
Take this. [2 guns cock]
You ready? 1.. 2.. 3! [2 shots]

[Chorus]
The more you, put me through,
The more it makes me wanna come back to you,
You say you hate me, I just love you more,
You don't want me, I just want you more,
I buy you flowers, you throw 'em at me,
I know it's sad but it's makin me happy,
The more that you slap me, the more that it turns me on,
Cuz you love me, and I love you more.

[Verse 1]
It's sick, but who could ever predict,
We'd be doin' the same shit,
We say we do it for our baby but we don't,
We do it for us, it's lust,
Cuz neither one of us trusts each other,
So we fuck 'til we bust,
Then we cuss each other, out,
We know what it's about,
Shout 'til I throw you out the house,
You throw me out the house,
I throw you on the couch,
Punch you in the mouth,
Fist fight 'til we turn this mother OUT,
And apologize after,
Laughter, pain, it's insane,
We're back in the same chapter again,
And it's sad but it's true,
When I'm layin' here with you,
There ain't nothin' anyone could ever say ever do.

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Cuz I hate you, do you hate me?
Good cuz you're so fuckin' beautiful when you're angry,
It makes me wanna just take you,
And just throw you on the bed,
And fuck you like I don't even know you,
You fuck other people, and I fuck other people,
You a slut but I'm equal, I'm a mutt,
We're both evil in our ways,
But neither one of us would ever admit it,
Cuz one of us would have one up on the other,
So forget it,
We can make accusations, people spread rumors,
But they ain't got proof,
'Til they do it's just the two of us,
It's you and me, cuz any chick can say that she's screwin' me,
But you gotta believe me to a degree,
Cuz if you didn't I wouldn't be hittin' it,
Yeah I would cuz the sex is too damn good,
If I ran who would I run to,
That would be this soft and warm,
So it's off and on, usually more off than on,
But at least we know that we share this common bond,
You're the only one I can fuck without a condom on,
I hope, the only reason that I cope,
Is cuz of that fact,
And plus I can bust in that,
And that's why...

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
I could never understand it,
That's why I don't try,
From junior high until we both die,
It's silly ho why must we try,
Is it really so rough,
That we must always call each other's billy goat's gruff,
Try to pull each other's legs,
Until the other begs,
We're liein' to ourselves,
That's the beauty of it yeah,
Cuz we truly love each other,
That's why we always fight,
And all we do is shove each other,
Every other fuckin' night,
And it's clear it ain't gonna change,
It's pent up rage,
We both have,
We both feel like we've been upstaged by someone else,
We've both been,
Someone else's someone else,
Problem is neither one wants help,
It's an addiction and it can't be fixed,
Our family's mixed up,
There's a baby sister in the mix,
And it hurts cuz the pieces to the puzzle don't fit,
And anybody who thinks they know us doesn't know shit,
And they're probably just tired of hearin' it all the time,
On every song, every lyric, and every rhyme,
All the hoopla, all of the whoopdy whoop,
What you put me through, fuckin' whoopdy doo,
But I won't be made a fool of,
If this is true love,
You wouldn't do what,
You did last time,
You wouldn't screw up,
This time,
Cuz this time girl,
I'm tellin you what,
You do it again I'm fuckin you up,
No matter what...

[Bridge]
What you say, what you do,
I'ma hunt you down 'til I find you,
No matter where you run, I'll be right there,
Right behind you, in your nightmares,
All the flowers, and the candy,
All the times that you threw it back at me,
You say you hate me, you gon' hate me more,
When you find out, can't escape me whore.

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 15:34:20 GMT

WHERE ARE YOU?

Dream Journal

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 15:31:28 GMT

well i though i update with a dream i had this morning. It was kinda wierd inna way. I was back in high school. And for some reason this dream brought back my sports. I was in the dream as me obviously and i was on the football team and i only remember certain parts but i remember i had a full blown schollarship to u of m and i was the popular kids for obvious facts of being on the football team. The one thing i could understand was the gf i had. It was HER. Why after all this time do i finally dream about her. the scary thing is when i dream i have a realization in them. its like i can controll them. Like at the part of the dream where my gf came up to me. i was like this is a dream and i was saying it in the dream. and i started to push her away and shit. cauz i knew it wasnt real. its was kinda good for a minute the dream but then my alarm woke me up and i realized oh well better off awake than dreamin about that bull.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~P.s I thank those people who are not commenting on my journal like i asked them too, hopefully they cant see this message cauz there not supposed to be reading it either. but if YOU do see this STOP READING IT.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well im out folks. I love you baby.

What I have created has destroyed me in the end.

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 15:32:27 GMT

Well folks i realized something last night. I have a influence on peoples lives. I didnt really realize it till just like a couple of days ago. I noticed that certain people i talk to have taken my thoughs and beliefs into factor. Some examples of this: I have a friend who she always worries about the dumbest little thing in life. I made her realize that certain things are not to be worried about or matter. She has even told me that if it wasnt for me she wouldnt be the person she is today. she has told me that im prolly the only person she takes seriously when we discuss certain thing. Another sinerio is this other person i know i made them realize its better to open up and talk about stuff you keep hidden because its better to have it out then bottled up where it will only keep hurting you in then end. Ive made that person feel beautiful no matter what they say they think they are. These are some instances of this that i have noticed that has happened over the last year or so. I'm just wondering if everyone i know REALLY does take the things i say to heart??? Do i really INFLUENCE then that much? Does what i say AFFECT them? In these cases i guess so. I know that some of the times though have ended up destroying me in the end. I sometimes wish i didnt affect people so much. I wish i didnt care. But you cant just stop caring about FRIENDS. No matter how mad you get at them or they get mad at you, it eventually just goes away and you realize what you were mad about was really nothing at all. This is certain for most cases in my life except for a select few that were just completly wrong to do to someone in the first place even if they DESERVE it or not. Life is to short to be mad at your frends and you should be happy with the TRUE friends you got no matter what happens.

Tayla

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 17:37:07 GMT

Will you please stop commenting in my journal and fucking stop reading it. I do not wanna have to make a personal pertection order against you. and i dont wanna have to come out to eaton rapids to show the police you are goin against the order on me. Stop reading my journal stop commenting on it. I dont want anything to do with you. i dont want you in my life or reading about it. STAY AWAY. I dont give a damn what you have to say so stop writing in my journal and let me be happy. You only piss me off when you comment so STOP.

DO YOU GET THE FUCKING POINT.